where will I live, "where will I go to school," or "when will I see my other parent." Listen to their thoughts and ideas. Answer questions as honestly as possible. Sometimes, the answer is, "I don 't know, " � and that is OK.
Encourage your teen to share their feelings and ask questions. It is OK to let your teen know you have feelings as well. Let them see you sad or upset. Do not use your teen as your friend. Remember, it is not your teenagers role to comfort you or help you deal with your feelings.Be patient with your teen. The pain, worry, and other feelings take time to deal with. Don 't be tempted to spoil them or let them break rules. Instead, spend time with your teen. Give extra attention and love.Recognize the importance of your teen's friends. Allow them to keep on living a normal life. Help your other family members find ways to support you.Allow your teen to see and talk to each parent. Remember, your children are not getting a divorce. They still have two parents and need to spend time and interact with both of them. Encourage your teen to stay in touch with the other parent when they are with you.Consider counseling or support for your teen. Many schools offer programs to help teens deal with divorce.Look for signs of negative behaviors. Address these problems right away.
Work together with your ex. � �
- Try to keep your teen's life as normal as possible. Work to keep daily routines. Agree on discipline to be used at both mom 's and dad 's houses. Keep both parents involved in your teen's activities. Work out expenses.
- Use kind words when talking about your ex in front of your kids. Do not say bad things about your ex where your teen might hear or overhear. Your ex is still an important part of their life.
- Do your best to keep arguments and conflict away from your teen. Do not make your teen take sides or choose one parent over the other. Do not ask your teen to pass messages between the two of you.
Take care of yourself so you can care for your teenagers. � �
- Get involved in hobbies or activities you used to love, but have not done in a while. Stay healthy. Eat right and exercise. Even going for a short walk each day can help you feel better.
- Try to stay positive. Work to create a new life. Make new traditions. Learn to accept that while this may not be the life you had hoped for, it can still be a good life.
- Deal with your feelings. You may find it helpful to write them down in a journal. Other times, it is OK to distract yourself by reading, watching TV, or cleaning. The most important thing is to be gentle with yourself while you heal. Allow yourself a few healing or comforting experiences like a warm bath, a massage, yoga, or special time with a friend. These can all help you feel loved and cared for. Consider a support group or counseling.
When do I need to call the doctor?
You or your teen: � �
- Are having thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else
- Feel depressed
- Have problems eating or sleeping
- Are not able to control negative emotions
Where can I learn more?
American Psychological Association � �
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/healthy-divorce.aspx � �
KidsHealth � �
http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/help_child_divorce.html � �
KidsHealth � �
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/families/divorce.html# � �
Mental Health America � �
http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/separation-and-divorce � �
Last Reviewed Date
2015-04-17 � �
List_set bdysylist
- Healthy Living
- Mental Health
- Pediatric
Consumer Information Use and Disclaimer
This information is not specific medical advice and does not replace information you receive from your health care provider. This is only a brief summary of general information. It does NOT include all information about conditions, illnesses, injuries, tests, procedures, treatments, therapies, discharge instructions or life-style choices that may apply to you. You must talk with your health care provider for complete information about your health and treatment options. This information should not be used to decide whether or not to accept your health care provider 's advice, instructions or recommendations. Only your health care provider has the knowledge and training to provide advice that is right for you. � �
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Copyright � � 2016 Wolters Kluwer Clinical Drug Information, Inc. and its affiliates and/or licensors. All rights reserved. � �